The tag of belongingness
We fought again today. But was it really my mistake? I am fed up now. Though I know he loves me more than his life and I love that he loves me but I just hate the feeling of belongingness to someone. I just hate this tag which constantly reminds me that I belong to him. That I'm answerable to him for everything. He loves me but I love myself more. Doing something for me doesn't help him to get me. The pretty clothes wrap around my body, the ring on my finger, the stylish bag I have, the expensive watch I wear, the mobile phone and car I use, all belongs to him. These things are his not mine but what about my soul? Is my soul belongs to him also? No, my soul belonged to me, still belongs to me and it will belong to me only for the rest of my life. What about my dreams? I always wonder about the married ladies how they feel? Do they feel the same I am feeling now? Don't they feel irritated all the time for thinking about someone else before them? How it feels to think about someone's else happiness before theirs? Are they also scared like me, for taking any decision of their own in their life? Of course he is a part of my life, but still he is a part not my whole life. I am happy for being a part of his but I will never try to control his life. I will be by his side in every decision, doesn't matter wrong or right but I can't take any decision of his life on behalf of him. I just can't. I respect his decision, his personal space. But why can't he just think the same for me? Why can't he let me take my life's decision on my own? Why can't he just let me be what I am? Why can't he understand that I have my own life to live, my own dreams to reach the sky, my own decisions and to prove those decisions right. I have to do mistakes of my own, learn from those mistakes too. These things are the experiences of life. Its good that he protects me. But protect me, don't try to control me. I'm lucky to have him in my life, but I want him to see me as his life not as his belonging. After all I'm a human too, I have my own point of views and I'm not sure they will match with his views always. He must respect my choices and my personal space. I'm the wind which he can't bind back. I'm the sunlight which he can't capture in his palm. Though he can control over my body, not my mind, not my soul. These are the things belong to me always and will be. After all I'm the captain of my own life!