Thursday, 28 May 2015

I decided to walk towards life!

I decided to walk towards life...!!!

Mohini Sharma

Life led me to strange paths
and I can see myself in parts
But I decided to walk
don't have someone, even to talk
I decided to walk in a deserted plane
somewhere I felt myself all alone..

I decided to walk
without knowing the goalpost
I feel like a child who is lost
I don't know about the path
no advance plans, no precautions before
the journey is yet so far
its moving like an hour to hour

I decided to walk
smiling or crying whatever my face

winning or losing whatever my fate
People changing nature like dresses
wearing mask over face, & very insane
but life gives me immense power again
to live.. to succeed.. to end..
for that, I decided to walk !!!

Thursday, 21 May 2015

A Rape is a Rape & a Rapist is a Rapist

“A Rape is a Rape & a Rapist is a Rapist”

                           Mohini Sharma

According to our government, it is okay to rape your wife. They said the concept of marital rape cannot be applied in India as marriage is a pure alliance in Indian society, keeping in mind our poverty, illiteracy, traditions, culture and values. Apparently, marriage is a license to rape.
But here’s why we need a marital law.

* 1 in every 5 Indian men admit for forcing their wives into sex, according to a 2011 study by the International Center for Research on Women
*127 countries don’t criminalize rape within marriage
*1 in 3 women is beaten, forced for sex, tortured or otherwise abused by their spouse or an intimate partner in their lifetime
*Many women experience depression because of violation and unwanted sexual acts

Marriage is a sacred institution which signs up by two people for equality, respect and love. The term ‘marital rape’ is an forceful or unwanted sexual act by a spouse without the other person’s consent. A rape is a rape and a rapist is a rapist, doesn’t matter after or before marriage. Many feminists and activists are demanding for inclusing marital rape as a criminal offence. But according to our law, when you sign up for marriage, you sign up for sex. In our country, a marriage is a license to hit a woman by her in-laws and husband. They can burn a woman, can exploit and harass her emotionally and physically, rape her. Violence is a deep-rooted reality of Indian women. Even the parents of the daughters usually come up with the punch line- “Adjust in the new household” or “Adjustment is another name of the life” or “Adjustment is another name of marriage”. There are many other women who cannot come in front and fight for themselves. What about them? There is no chance for them to get justice. But we have no legal protection in India. According to Section 375 of the IPC: “Sexual intercourse by a man with his wife, the wife not under 15 years of age, is not rape.” On one hand there is a law that a girl cannot get married before the age of 18 and on the other hand they are saying that marital rape is not a crime if the girl is above 15 years of age.
“When a woman gets married, she wants love, respect and equal partnership, not violence and rape”

For centuries, women have always been considered to be inferior to men or else they have been considered to be sexual objects. Country like India cannot criminalize marital rape as a criminal offence and in real, we can’t expect that to happen even. We can’t expect this in a country where women are sold in the pretext of dowry! Where the girl raised with the lessons to believe and the future-in-laws are now your new parents, but the boys are taught that women are drums remain in tune, only when beaten! Where we spend more money on girl’s wedding than on her education!
What can we expect from a country like this, where as a married girl, her surname, her identity, her responsibilities, her priorities, the home where she born and brought up, or for that matter, even her parents shall change! And then she will live with her in-laws and husbands, of course her new priorities, who has a legal right to torture and harass her. But today, women want more control over their bodies and their minds. They just want equality and an equal partnership in relationships. Is it a big thing to ask for? There are some people out there, who will think and say that all men are not same, all men are not dogs.. But I wonder why it would bother the people, who are not one of these.

India must learn from these countries

*In U.S marital rape is a crime in every state by 1993. They treat and penalize marital rape like any other rape
*In Britain rape within a marriage bee a crime since 1991. The 2003 Sexual Offences act clearly clarifies the law and accused the punishment just like any other rape.
*In Bhutan, Marital rape is punishable by a minimum prison term of 1 year and a maximum of three years.
*36 other countries, including Nepal have outlawed marital rape and offence it as a crime.

And yet, Indian laws have consistently stated that a man can be punished for rape “unless the woman raped is his own wife”

Friday, 15 May 2015

The tag of Belongingness!

The tag of belongingness

Mohini Sharma

We fought again today. But was it really my mistake? I am fed up now. Though I know he loves me more than his life and I love that he loves me but I just hate the feeling of belongingness to someone. I just hate this tag which constantly reminds me that I belong to him. That I'm answerable to him for everything. He loves me but I love myself more. Doing something for me doesn't help him to get me. The pretty clothes wrap around my body, the ring on my finger, the stylish bag I have, the expensive watch I wear, the mobile phone and car I use, all belongs to him. These things are his not mine but what about my soul? Is my soul belongs to him also? No, my soul belonged to me, still belongs to me and it will belong to me only for the rest of my life. What about my dreams? I always wonder about the married ladies how they feel? Do they feel the same I am feeling now? Don't they feel irritated all the time for thinking about someone else before them? How it feels to think about someone's else happiness before theirs? Are they also scared like me, for taking any decision of their own in their life? Of course he is a part of my life, but still he is a part not my whole life. I am happy for being a part of his but I will never try to control his life. I will be by his side in every decision, doesn't matter wrong or right but I can't take any decision of his life on behalf of him. I just can't. I respect his decision, his personal space. But why can't he just think the same for me? Why can't he let me take my life's decision on my own? Why can't he just let me be what I am? Why can't he understand that I have my own life to live, my own dreams to reach the sky, my own decisions and to prove those decisions right. I have to do mistakes of my own, learn from those mistakes too. These things are the experiences of life. Its good that he protects me. But protect me, don't try to control me. I'm lucky to have him in my life, but I want him to see me as his life not as his belonging. After all I'm a human too, I have my own point of views and I'm not sure they will match with his views always. He must respect my choices and my personal space. I'm the wind which he can't bind back. I'm the sunlight which he can't capture in his palm. Though he can control over my body, not my mind, not my soul. These are the things belong to me always and will be. After all I'm the captain of my own life! 

Wednesday, 13 May 2015

I love you till the end!

I just want to see when you are all alone. 
I just want to catch you if I can
I just want to be there when the morning light explodes
On your face it radiates I can't escape 
I love you till the end
I love you till the end
I just want to tell you nothing you don't want to hear
All I want is for you to say
Why don't you just take me where I have never been before
I know you want to hear me catch my breath
I love you till the end
I love you till the end
I just want to be there when you are caught in the rain
I just want to see you laugh not cry
I just want to feel you when the night puts on its cloak
I am lost for words don't tell me coz all I can say
I love you till the end
I love you till the end
I love you till the end

Sunday, 10 May 2015

Those two hours in darkness

Those two-hours in darkness!

It's neither a fairy tale nor a bravery story. But a regret part! Regret for not doing certain things at a certain time period when needed. Regret for not standing and speaking up for myself. Regret for not fighting against the wrong. I'm the kind of girl who always talks about equality, independence, feminism, stands against harassment & violence but I couldn't take a stand for myself. I still spend some nights crawling and crying at a corner of my room. I still got goose bumps and feel some physical pain in lower part of my stomach, I still feel dirty and impure about myself, I still the touch of someone hands on my body and make me feel like shit. When I remember those two hours in darkness, crying for two hours continuously but nobody heard, nobody saw and came to rescue that little girl. A girl fighting against something she had no idea about. A little girl waiting for someone to come and wake her up and say it was all a bad dream. Sometimes we get punished for the mistakes we didn’t do. So here comes the instance that happened amidst the busy crowded streets of Chandni Chowk.

I am crying for the past few hours, sitting at corner of my bed in my room. Something inside me is paining, I can feel the pain. That is something physical. Remembering the sour experience and worst memory of my childhood and today’s episode made it worse. I fainted in the crowded street of Chandni Chowk after seeing someone. I was with a friend, who is very close and dear to me. Still, I couldn’t tell him what's wrong with me. I told him that it’s just weakness! But I wondered why I am still scared of the person I saw in the market. Because he was the perfect description of devil to me. Yes he was, he is indeed! Sobbing hardly, having a lane of memory which reminded me of pain I bore all these years inside me. The deep painful dark secret! I never got the guts to talk about to anyone, not even to myself. 

Being raped at the age of 8 is the worst thing can happen to anyone, especially by the one you trusted, especially the one who promised your mom to take good care of yours. At that age when I didn’t even know the meaning of sex or rape. Still I was the one who got to bear this, taking this pain in my heart for all my life, buried the secret deep inside me. Yes the bold, happiest and happy-go-lucky girl is bearing this pain from the age of 8. Most sex crimes and harassments are done by the family members or known ones.

There are some secrets which haunt you for the rest of your life and make you feel helpless. I was always excited to go to my maternal uncle’s home for summer vacations. I used to wait for the day our school get closed and I go to meet all my cousins and enjoy my vacations. But that happened to be the worst vacation for me. That can be the nightmare for any girl to lose her virginity, the feel of being impure, against her will, at the age of 8. Feeling some ones stares on your body with full of lust, touching you all over without your consent. I was stripped and touched all over, and I cried, I begged, and that man asked me to stay shut or I would be caned the next day! I, terrifying and crying, was bearing everything. Fighting the battle without having any idea about it. But I couldn't win. He didn't rape my body only but he raped my soul. I was completely shattered. Crying, cursing myself for being a girl, for being weak and helpless and impure and dirty and a girl. Feeling his hands all over my body, feeling entered something inside my vagina, giving me pain I was not able to handle. I wish I could escape that day. I wish I could delete that chapter from my life for ever.

He was raping me and I was crying, couldn't do anything else. He didn't see the pain, tears in my eyes, the pain my body was going through.  I always wonder how can someone be so cruel? So cruel to a little girl who believed him, the parents who given him the responsibility of their kid to him. But then I realize the world doesn't have good people only. After toring my sould he asked me to stop crying. And when I didn't, he locked me into the washroom. Darkness was the only fear before that. And now I got something big, a fear to live my life with. I was lying in the washroom, in my blood, in my sweat, in my tears, in darkness for two hours. I can still feel those two hours in the darkness. Every passing second seemed like a decade to me. I was not thinking what to do next? Should I tell to my parent or not? All I wanted to end this physical pain or die. I was just asking one simple question to God that why me? Why me?

This happened more than a decade back but it still feels like yesterday, and no I couldn't tell my parents. I just moved, figuring out why me? Why a girl has to bear all this? Why a girl is not safe in our society? My parents always warned me about the bad people outside the home. But they never talked about the devils sitting inside the home where I felt safest. Every time my friends play that truth & dare game and ask the oldest common question about virginity, I feel frustrated and bad and shit about myself. I feel like too much to say and ask the society the questions I locked up in my heart all these years but words never come out of my mouth. It makes me feel sick when someone holds me tight in anger, and screams, it reminds me of the time I want to forget. It makes me look for escaping and saving myself from this bad bad world, running away alone, locking myself somewhere for hours and cry. It makes me feel something down there, some physical pain, someone's hands over my body, someone exhaling on my neck. The first time I had sex, I was ashamed because I didn't bleed, I was helpless because I wanted to feel how it feels being normal. It gave me a sense of being impure and dirty yet again!

That happened with me in my own safe place. The world where I always feel secure and safe between the ones who love me and I love them. I believed that they will always be my side, always protect me. How foolish it sounds to me now, don't ask!

Monday, 4 May 2015

Ways to boost your confidence!

Building Confidence

Confidence is not something that is learned by a set of rules. Every other person has his own fears, drawbacks and points because of which, lack of confidence is natural. That is just a state of mind- a positive one. The ones with self confident are always admired by others and inspired others. They are tend to be risk takers and face their fears head on. The people with self confidence always see their life with a positive perspective. It's not about how many problems and challenges they are facing in their life, they always fight and never give up. Confidence comes from the feelings of well-being, acceptance of body and mind, way of living, belief in own capabilities, skills, experiences. 
"Low self-confidence isn't a life sentence. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered--just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better." --Barrie Davenport
Low-confidence can be a result of many factors. Lack of confidence is a result of lack of confidence including fear, criticism,feeling unprepared, lack of knowledge and previous failures etc. But if one really want to get over low confidence there are many ways to improve. 

1. Positive thought
Positive thought can be a powerful way to boosting your confidence level. Positivity depends on your mind only. You have to stay away from negativity and bring positivity in yourself. You just need to think positive and the basic rules for thinking positive are to highlight your strengths and capabilities and learn from your own mistakes and failures. The negative thoughts can be very damaging to kill your confidence but be positive. Put some positive enthusiasm into your interactions with others. Stop focussing on the problems and failures of your life, instead begin to focus on finding solutions and positive changes.

2. Good  posture & body language
Although clothes don't make the man, but certainly affect the way he feels about himself. The right posture, smiling, eye contact, come into the play too. Just the single act of pulling your shoulders back and a smiling face, gives others an impression that you are a confident person. The smiling face of yours makes others feel comfortable around you. Sit straight and calm, look direct into the eyes of the person you are speaking to, shows confidence. Stay calm and and speak slowly will always help you. Feel more self-confidence in yourself and appear self confident to others.

3. Experience and Failure
Never give up and accept failure. Keep practice and things will surely turn on. Low-confidence is often caused by the failures of life and lack of experience. When we successfully complete some tasks and goals, our confidence naturally boosts up. It increases the confidence of doing something better than the previous time because of experience. The more you practise, the more you get more confident. Taking the first step can, however, be very difficult. But for gaining experience and build your confidence, one have to take that first step confidently. 

4. Be prepared and assertive
If you are prepared, and have the knowledge to back it up, your self-confidence will soar. Learning and gaining knowledge can sometimes make us feel less confident about our abilities to perform roles and tasks, when this happens we need to combine our knowledge with experience. Prepare yourself by gaining all the knowledge about the topic or job or presentation you are doing. This will boost your confidence. Being assertive means standing up for what you believe in and sticking to your principles. Being assertive also means that you can change your mind if you believe it is the right thing to do, not because you are under pressure from somebody else. 

5. Focus on contribution
Too often we get caught up in our own desires. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on the needs of other people. If you stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on the contribution you’re making to the rest of the world, you won’t worry as much about you own flaws. This will increase self confidence and allow you to contribute with maximum efficiency. The more you contribute to the world the more you’ll be rewarded with personal success and recognition.

Sunday, 3 May 2015

Boyfriends and their Professions!!

“Take it from me, he is a very Bad Boyfriend”

A man is like a deck of heart. You need a Heart to Love him, a Diamond to Marry him, a Club to Smash his Head & a Spade to Bury him.

Boyfriends and their professions

1.  Businessmen
There are so many benefits to date businessmen but loses too because being in a relationship you will always feel like you are single. They will never take you out for a vacation of your choice but yes they will take you along to their business meetings in other cities. They are like “kaam ka kaam ho jayega aur ghumna ka ghumna”
 “Consignment of Romance never comes into their life and Tender of Love they never files”

2.  Doctors
They always make you feel awful by telling you about patients and their pathetic diseases. Whenever girls try to fight about something important, they only care about their girlfriend’s abnormal breathing rate and hypertension. Things like love and heart, other boys will find romantic but they will say heart is only for pumping blood. You need ‘Duaa’ more than ‘Dava’ with these guys.
“Emergencies will come between your love any time and your love story will depend on life-support”

3.  Actors
They always romance you and if you believe then they will ask, “How was my acting?’’ They will never eat what you cook for them, because they are extra conscious about their muscular body. Their hand bags contain more cosmetics than yours. They are too busy in looking themselves in mirror so they never compliment their girlfriends.
“They make mistakes every time because they are habitual of taking re-takes & moreover the climax of your love story is still unwritten”

4.  Lawyers
These guys are very obsessed of finding evidence and treat their love   stories as a criminal case. They spy on their girlfriend every time and manipulate things when they are wrong. What they say and what they actually mean are never same. Moreover they you have no judge in your love story. They will be judge and lawyer at a same time.
“He may not be right but he can make sure sounds like it”

5.  Leaders & Politicians
These guys can only speak big but can’t do anything. Even if a girl wants to believe them she can’t do because of this profession. They will think more about opposition party than their girlfriends. They will always busy in their ‘good for nothing’ so-called rallies and party meetings. And most importantly they are good in telling a lie and making fake promises.
“Your boyfriend is always busy in making others fool and so as to you”

6.  Reporters
Reporters are obsessed with headlines and big news. They will always treat you as a story on which they are working. They can run between making love to you for covering any story or event. They are good at stretching one little thing and manipulating. Argument is their favorite pastime.
“They never come up what they actually mean and keep trying to read your mind”

7. Jobless (the worst one)
Being unemployed is not a bad thing but being lazy and lethargic makes it worst. Instead of searching for a new job he will only waste his time and even distract you from your work too. He will ask for monetary help and when you ask him about interview, he will make many excuses. He will eat, smoke, play videogame and sleep. He will take your concerns negative.
“A man who doesn’t work for his living, won’t work for you too”

Friday, 1 May 2015

Things girls want boys to know.!


There are many things girls want boys to know. The do s or Don’ts

1.           If I’m sending you friend request on facebook, doesn’t mean I’m in love with you.

2.           If I comment or like any picture of yours, it clearly means I like the update. I’m not your fan.

3.           If I’m saying No for something, it means a clear no.

4.           If I say that I want to booze and get drunk, it doesn’t mean I’m giving you any signal.

5.           If I come and meet you without wearing bra, it doesn’t mean inviting.

6.           When I say I’m perfectly alright or I’m ok, I’m not.

7.           When I cry and ask you to stay away, don’t go even hug me tight.

8.           When I say I don’t care about your ex, please understand I hate that bi**h.

9.           When I say I don’t like it too much, it clearly means I hate it.

10.                     When I say I believe, I’m just warning you to not to do anything wrong.

11.                     When I say, “I know she is just a friend and I like her”, I actually mean I’m feeling jealous.

12.                     If I say I’m busy, I’m actually busy and not making excuses.

13.                     If I say I’ll go by myself, I really want you to drop me home.

14.                     If I say, “It’s a girl’s night out only” I mean, don’t you dare to spy on me.

15.                     When I say What!? I heard for the first time but just giving you a chance to change your statement.

16.                     When I say, “You’re most handsome man”, believe me I’m not saying truth.

17.                     When I say I’m feeling low, take me for shopping.

18.                     Yes, I watch porn but it doesn’t mean I’m starving for sex.

19.                     When I say, “I love you and want to spend my life with you”. Believe me I’m saying it all from my heart.