Tuesday, 5 January 2016

I fell in love with a stranger, he was my husband!

As I sat uncomfortably on my wedding bed, furiously thinking about everything that is going to happen the next moment, these thoughts making me more nervous. I married to a complete stranger. Just met him once on our engagement day with hundreds of people around us, couldn’t get the chance to know him better. But thanks to my mom who gave me some valuable tips for a happy married life. I was thinking about how to tell my husband that I’m not virgin. I was thinking about all the possible outcomes. Maybe he won’t feel offended but he can get angry and left me. These were the thoughts making me feel terrified from the very day my wedding got fixed but then on my wedding bed these same thoughts scared my nervous system like hell.
He knocked and came inside, his footsteps gave me goose bumps. I was breathing heavily and my heart jumped in my neck but I pretended to be calm. He had a charming smile, but he seemed a bit uncomfortable too. When he took his pillow and turned; my mother’s words came to my mind that if your husband is not willing to sleep with you, your marriage is in trouble. I looked at him with questions in my eyes and he said, “I can totally understand that we didn’t get chance to know and come close to each other and I has to agree that this is very comfortable for both of us. So I’m gonna sleep on couch until we’re comfortable with each other and eventually fell in love. And you’re my wife not any prostitute” I smiled and said good night and he jokingly said that he was not a secret gay he promised. He proved my mom wrong. As I slept on the bed without removing my make-up or anything, tears rolled down from the corner of my eyes. People say it amazes them when we shed tears while we are happy. They say, it didn't make sense, but to me, it made more sense. There was a calm sense in my breath, smile on my lips, a satisfaction in my heart and a stranger in the room, though he was my husband.
The next morning, I got up a bit late. I rushed to get ready and ran to kitchen to make a cup of tea for my husband but he was in the kitchen itself. I remember my mom’s words that if any woman let her husband come into the kitchen, she’s failed as a good wife. I stepped in and looked at him and took the pan from his hand. He said, “I like cooking. You can cook when you like and so will I. After all you are my wife not a slave”
He proved my mom wrong again and that was the moment he won all my respect. I started open up with him. I started giggling, laughing, living with him. I started liking him. I used to shed lots of tears at home and I did the same here too, but the feelings of why it came, was different. I felt confidence building inside me. I could have never imagined asking him about going with my friends for trekking but I did. I remember the time my mom asked my dad to attend a religious function somewhere with her friends. I can’t forget my dad’s expressions full of disgust and disappointment. That day my mom told me not to ask questions like this to my husband ever. But she has been wrong ever since I came here. My husband’s expressions were same as my father. For a few moments, I got scared and couldn’t say a word. He said frustrated, "how many times have I told you that you are my wife? Why are you taking my permission like that? Like you are a prisoner? In fact, why are you asking at all? Inform me and go. Don't beg for it!"
My parents gave birth to me, they raised me but it was my husband who was teaching me how to live. I was enjoying his company. Whenever he called my name, it sounded special. It was, in all honesty, special. One day I asked him to be patient with me because I’m learning and he said, “I will keep that in my mind, if you promise me to remember that you are not in your home anymore. Let the past be in the past” He touched my back to comfort me for a moment. But it felt so different. After all, it was his first touch since I came in his house. I was learning living from my husband.
I invited some of my friends at home and we drank the wine which my husband bought for us. After going them we were talking and I told him that I want to work. My mom’s words echoed in my mind again but after knowing my husband I avoided them. He excitedly asked what I want to do and I said writing. He was so happy and supportive that he asked me if I want a new laptop or something. I remember the time when I asked my dad for doing a job and he said to learn cooking and all household chores.
That night, I cried like never before. I covered my face with pillow tightly to protect the sound. I didn't know why I was crying so hard but I wanted to scream. I saw a black shadow near my door. He was standing there, watching me. I stood up and went to him and I kissed him. I hugged him and kissed him again. I dragged him in the bed. "You sure it isn't the wine doing?" he asked me. I rolled my eyes and replied, "You sure you aren't a secret gay?" He laughed, "You are about to find out." he said and pushed me on bed and kissed me while undressing me. It was typical of me but I had to say it, I thought I owed it to him. I stopped him and said, "Before we start, I just want you to know. I am not a virgin." He waved his hand off and said, "I thought you were going to say that you have AIDS." I laughed and pulled him close and kissed him.
And that night we did it. We made love first time after 3 months of my marriage. The next morning I woke up and find him sleeping beside me peacefully, the same charming smile and I smiled after seeing him smiling. He made me believe in myself, realized what life is and especially what love is. The best gift my parents ever given me is not giving birth to me but to marry me to this stranger. I fell in love truly, madly, completely and passionately with the stranger I got married to. I fell in love with a stranger, he was my husband!