Monday, 9 November 2015

Have You Ever Wondered, What If You May Die? I Fear Oblivion!

For last few months, I didn't get enough time for writing. People who like to read my blog, always ask me why I'm not writing something. Even inspired me in every possible way. I really really appreciate that. Though I did miss writing but couldn't find enough time to pursue this hobby. So I thought to write something truly true about myself for a change. What about my fears? I'm on a rollercoaster of life that only goes up, but still I have some fear.
Before a few days, I met with an accident. Yeah that was a minor one! Only some scratches on my left elbow and hurt my left shoulder. But that was not the thing that paining. That was a fear. Not the fear of death but the fear of oblivion. I fear oblivion. I fear it like the proverbial blind man who's afraid of the dark. I fear it like a mother whose son is not back home by 2 and she couldn't reach him. I fear it like a small kid alone in a forest. I do believe in that.
I never thought about it, and I'm sure no one at very young age do so. We have so much to do with our life that we never find time to think about such stuff. Frankly, before that accident, I never thought about that too. There are other important things to understand like loan policies, interest rate, family, job, cranky boss, clingy boyfriends, traffic rules. And among all these we forget to think and believe in life after death or what will happen if we die.
That accident took me to another world, the world of oblivion.
I wondered what if I may die today?
Who will get more affected? Whose life will get stopped because I'll not be there? Will people remember me? Whose gonna miss me more? Though I know life goes on and never stop for anyone but still, will there be someone who will stop?

Now this is quite funny that I took a paper and pen and start making a list of people whose life will get affected if I die. And believe me that was the feeling of homesick, confusion or I would say dharam sankat situation for me.

I know there will come a time when all are dead. Or the people who knows me. There will be no one who remember me. I know there are people who love me, but do they love me enough to get affected their life because of me. The inevitability of human life worries me, that's the reason I chose, and encourage myself to ignore it. And live the life to fullest. But I still want the world to know and remember me. Specially the ones who love me and know the real me. Though there are only a few who really do! I want them to remember the good memories of me and smile, and I will make sure if there is any life after death, whenever I'll be, in any other world I'll be in, I'll smile and find peace.

And with the God's grace in this life, I will make it big not long. And ignore my fear of oblivion because God knows that's what everyone else does!
Do you ever wonder what will happen if you may die?