Sunday, 8 May 2016

A Letter For My Mom

So it's been a long time I haven't written anything. Of course I do always write short quotes and stuff. But didn't get enough time to maintain my personal blog. People who love to read my write ups always ask me why I'm not coming up with anything on my blog. Strangers tried to motivate me. I really feel blessed when people who don't know me personally, message on social accounts that they like my writing. I feel appreciated when they ask me to write something soon. That is such an inspiration. Anyways, what a better day than Mother's Day.

Whatever I was, I'm and I'll be, I always owe my everything to my mom. So from the busy hectic life full of stress and work and heart beaks and every temporary thing or emotion, a plain letter to say just thanks. Thanks for my existence, because of you!


Dearest Mom,
Thank You! 
These words are not enough for what all you've done for me. I guess, words cant express my gratitude towards you. I thought a lot before writing this letter, which is very unusual. After spending all these years with you, I should've write so much. But believe me, there are not enough alphabets and not enough words to tell you how much you mean to me. How much I love you! I know I've been a bad kid, made you pissed off so many times. And you did the same :p but you know me. You know me right before my existence. I still remember when you told me about the complications during your pregnancy, I was almost dead inside your womb. Even the doctors did hands up. Heartbeats stopped and you thought you have lost me. I can't forget the terrifying expressions on your face when you were telling me all this, like the world will end. Your world will end. But I survived. I survived for you, because you wanted me to come to this world. You brought me here to live, to laugh, to experience and to love! When I was a kid who cant say whether I'm hungry or having a pain, you knew it well. You always knew what I wanted. You still does. I remember when every one in the family teased me that you brought me from dustbin and I was crying and you said you love me so much. You made me believe every one is joking and even if you brought me from somewhere I'm still your daughter. The unconditional love, the support, the care, the fake scoldings. That was love without expecting back anything. You were always there, whenever I needed you. You still are! In my sorrows, in my tears, in my joys, in my happiness. You always take care of me and give your suggestions and tips to value things in my life. You made me learn the right and wrong. Remember, once I was having a dance competition and was very nervous at the time of results. You said, "doesn't matter who will win, I'm proud of seeing you dancing on stage". Yes, I won the competition. But you were more happier than me. Seeing you from there clapping for me, is still the best moment for me. 
 Every time I look behind and try to recall my childhood, you are always there. In every picture, in every memory. We shared almost everything, every emotion, joys, happiness, parties, birthdays we celebrated together. When I cried, you cried, when I laughed, you laughed. Seems like you made me your first priority. All your life you handled me, my craziness, my not-so-cool weird attitude. You helped me throughout all my life. You cleaned up the messy kitchen when I'm done cooking. You screamed on me for not having my dinner when I got busy in my laptop. You scolded me for doing thing wrong and then after some time you used to come and make me understand things. That was the best part of teenage. 
Yeah we had so many arguments, even don't-ever-call-me-mom and I-am-not-your-daughter-anymore kind of fights.When I was growing up and you used to be extremely protective, I used to run away from home and live my life with my ways. I used to think, you're not understanding me. I used to fight for being out on my birthday and celebrate my birthday with my friends. I forgot that you're my best friend, the first friend. And when you found my personal diary and I've written about my crush and you read all. How angry I was because you touched my personal diary. How much I fought you. I forgot that you are in my every personal, I'm a part of you. When you confronted, I was so afraid how you'll react about that, Frankly speaking I was thinking of whether you will like my choice, my crush or not. You did nothing. You just made me realize it's okay to have crush or crushes, it's not me, it's my age. But don't ever suffer myself for anyone. No body worth it. You are right, no body worth the beautiful gift called life which you've given me. 
I got a bit younger, a bit smarter. Realized how wrong I was, and how right you were. Every time you scolded, you fought it was for my own good. Now I realized how great it was to being a bit strict for me. For taming the wild girl I'm, for raising me so beautifully, for making me an independent person I'm today, you must had to be strict. You always believe and see the best in me. I still feel if you would not have there, how miserable my life would have. You devoted your whole life for us and didn't expected anything but love. You worked for whole day, for whole week, whole month, whole year. Seems like you never asked for a break for a decade. Yeah sometimes, I cook by myself to give you the rest, sometimes I help you in household chores. But only sometimes. And when you're not home. Believe me, home doesn't feel like home. And all I think is, how you manage everything from morning to night.
I know, I have flaws. But for you, I'm perfect.  You always believe in my choices whether it's about getting admission in a college far off home, or started working at such a young age. You never doubted my intentions, my dreams, my motives. You gave me all the freedom I wanted, freedom to be what I want to. Freedom to celebrate my new year and birthdays out with my friends. But now, I don't want to. The childhood punishments like locked me in my room and not going out of house and to not  meet any person out are now my favorite adult hobbies. Over the years, I have understood you too well, like you understand me. I know it took time. But now I know your anger is for a few yours, I know you still care about whether I had my lunch or dinner. I know you still wake up every midnight when I made coffee for myself. I'm so sorry for wake you up, I really try to do everything so silently. I always used to see you draping yourself in sari, I used to learn that from you. You made me learn that. I feel that I have this external love for sari because of you. Seeing myself wearing your sari is one of the best feel. Now we behave like more of sisters, asking for each other clothes, heels, lipstick and of course you keep on whatsapp me now and then. Your never ending household stuff list which you keep on sending me to bring.
This mother's day, don't know why, don't know how, I'm feeling like your little daughter is so grown up to understand you. For me you mean everything, yeah I don't make you see it every day. But I know that you know! Like Always! You were always a role-model for me. You still are! You always inspired me. No matter how tough the situation is, you handle it gracefully and strongly. I always wish to I be like you someday, strong, caring, calm, graceful and a bit beautiful (which is kinda impossible).
Every time I look at you, I never feel you have aged. You still look the same, fair skin, grey brown eyes, long blonde hair, the pleasant personality and the charming smile. I feel like old in front of you. And believe me, I try very hard to look not as good as you, but at least not too bad in photographs, when we get a click together. And I'm very proud you always win. Though I feel a bit heartbroken when everyone says you're way more beautiful than me. But that's cool. After all, you're my mom. 
From saying thank you to over the years of journey together, I guess I have reminded you everything. I just want to say, I'm so proud of you mom. I'm not blessed to have a mom like you, but YOU. I love you so much and I will always. No matter what I'll become, where I'll be, I will always need you. 
 Happy Mother's Day

Forever Love
Your Daughter
Mohini Sharma