I'm a little furious today.
Maa, for what reason didn't you let me know not to trust young men with wonderful eyes, charming smile or the ones do intellectual talks? For what reason didn't you instruct me to not accept when they'd guarantee me an eternity which would be hollower than my bones.I'm in torment today.
Maa, I trust individuals excessively effectively. For what reason didn't you instruct me to assemble an immense divider outside my heart so just a couple could come in, the genuine ones? Why you didn't educate me concerning the young men who might love me like a leased loft — frantically enamoured, one day and after that move into a superior one.
I'm a little frustrated today.
Not little, I’m hell frustrated today.
Maa, for what reason didn't you reveal to me that I don't merit love? I could've comprehended it at that point. I never expected it from anybody except for you in any case given how Dad used to clash with me in every decision I used to make and poke nose in everything I used to do. Presently there's a vacancy in my throat which never leaves. What's more, I stammer when I mouth daddy's name.
He just stopped talking to me like I was not a part of him anymore. How could he do that to me!?
I comprehended I'll never be adored, today.
Maa, you let me know not to put stock in outsiders. For what reason didn't you ever let me know not to trust young men who make guarantees to me at 3 toward the beginning of the day that they'd remain? For what reason didn't you reveal to me that everybody who will love me will eventually abandon one fucking day?
It’s not actually like they left me. It’s just they took me to the level where I was no longer me. They treated me like shit instead of treating me like a queen. They promised to give me the world and when I finally gave in, they burned it down.
In front of my eyes.
They threatened me, they humiliated me, they tried to be my master and keep me like a slave. They did try to change me and the smile you have given me.
Yes, I do remember that I promised you not to keep anyone above me and my happiness. I’m sorry I forgot the rule and fucked it up!
By the by, I'm appreciative to you for enlightening me, it is never concerning how others adore me however how I cherish myself - and I will do precisely that.
Request my dad to converse with me at some point. Request him and tell him that out of all the men I got into my life, he is still my hero. No matter how many fights and arguments we had, tell him that I love him and he’s the only man I can trust on.
Tell him to be my back bone once again.
Because frankly, I’m done being strong and fighting for myself!
I just want to experience the childhood once again where I knew no matter what my dad will take care of me.
And about those young men with wonderful eyes, charming smile or the ones do intellectual talks, I have learned my lesson and I’ll keep on learning!