I'll Burn You Too!

It's not about you, 

believe me it's really not.

It's about me, I'm scared,

not of you but of myself,

because it feels so perfect

like I've got everything

I wanted and waited for so long.

Those laughter, kisses and hugs;

that scare me.

Scare me that it won't be 

like this forever.

Scare me that one day 

it'll not be the same.

So believe me, it's not about you.

I'm just scared that I'll burn you too 

with myself.

I'm just scared that this perfect feeling

won't be so perfect for long &

I'll find flaws, not in you 

but in us!

I miss you!

Whenever it rains, I miss you.

I miss you from the bottom of my heart,

from the top of my life,

from the zeal of my eyes,

and from the depth of my voice!

Whenever it shines, I miss you.

I miss you like the sunflowers miss the sun,

like the starts miss the moon,

like the trees miss the birds,

and I miss to see you soon!

Whenever it pains, I miss you,

I miss you to be with you, 

to hold your hand,

to look into your eyes,

to walk down the streets,

and to see how the sun greets!

At the end of the day!

I will make a big sigh and stare at the sky,

I will dream of butterflies and unicorns and smile.

I will have nightmares that are endless and cry,

I will go outside and start the day bright.

I will grab my suit of fake smile and lie,

Pretend and hide beneath this bright sunlight.

At the end of the day that is how it is!

I talk to friends and laugh cause everything's fine,

No one knows, no one must know that I'm not alright.

I am miserable inside and I don't want them to see,

I need someone but I shouldn't ask anyone,

I need help but I shouldn't cry for one.

Because I know those things will not solve it,

At the end of the day that is how it is!

I will feel empty and rush to my room,

Grab a blanket, a pillow and hide.

Cover the wounds that I carry at night,

I have no one to share my emotions and fears,

They think they know me, they know only best.

But they never know me behind this mess,

At the end of the day that is how it is!

With my hand reaching out and mouth shutting up,

My eyes crying out and knees bending down.

With my everything caged with no way out,

At the end of the day... that is how it is!

She just wanted more!

She wanted more of him. She wanted more than just casual greetings and modest smiles when they cross paths. She wanted more than just "Hey, how are you?" and "See you around." She wanted more than just staring at him from afar. She wanted more than just his "I love you." She wanted to feel it. She wanted to see it in his eyes when he says those words. She wanted him to say it and really mean it.

She wanted more than weekly visits and scheduled dates. She wanted more than just "I'm sorry, I was asleep." and "I'll make it up to you, I promise.". She wanted to feel like she is his priority and not just a second choice - not just an option. She wanted more than just being his back up plan in case things don't go his way. She wanted more than just random calls and sudden change of plans. 

She wanted more than just "I'm busy." or "I'll check my schedule.". She wanted more of his presence. She wanted more than just his absences and lame excuses. She wanted more than just having to wait when he's available. She wanted more than just being patient. She wanted more than his "You know I love you, right?". She wanted more than just knowing it and having to say "I do." even when her heart was screaming "I know you don't."

She wanted more of him, but that was all he could give!