I know your best friend got a new boyfriend, hot and charming! Another friend from college got a job with a bigggggg package! Your ex-boyfriend is getting married and changing dp with the girl every other day! Your colleague from previous company got promotion. And that Sharma Ji’s daughter cleared her CA, now your parents are after your ass with her success stories all the time. Every time you open your Facebook and Insta, people are getting engaged, traveling around the world, posting pictures with exotic view of foreign land, even having babies. Doesn’t it feel like we are already 2nd largest in population and there is no chance it will get control.
So much happening in the world around you, Right? And on the other hand, your days passing one by one, by just existing. Waking up late, sitting on the dirty couch with your headphones and laptop, liking other’s status and pictures on social media, exploring you tube , eating and then waking up for whole night. That’s the exact schedule, I tell you. Everyone is getting serious, working their ass off and you’re still wondering what to do next? No no, not about life but you’re thinking what to eat next or which movie to watch after this one.
I know this is really exhausting but it’s just the start. Its 20’s!! People older than you treat you like kiddo who is not responsible enough for earning for self, people younger than you treat you like you are way older than them.. And you’re sitting on your couch in the front of that corner window on Saturday’s night, thinking about what to do? Believe me; happens to me every day, every hour!
Every Friday I got phone calls from so many friends for the parties, get together, birthday bashes, reunion and what not. But I’m responsible enough to not waste the weekend drinking away. And moreover who has the enough guts to get up from my comfort position and get ready to hit the party. I’m not the one to lose myself on someone else’s tunes. These freaking parties, booze, dance floors, smokes up are too outdated now.
Sometimes I feel, is this happening coz I did this way too much and too soon? But everyone else is doing the same. Why I have to be different? Empty pockets and mind doesn’t allow me to enjoy my life, career choices and no idea of success hitting my head, and moreover the loneliness wrapping around me like my best friend. How to go out and booze and dance like crazy?
And when I tried to do this last night and be normal like every other person, things even messed up more. Dressed best in that little black dress, red lipstick, favorite heels and drank like piss. And eventually, couldn’t control my own fingers to dial the number of that wrong person. That’s my ex. Ahhhhh.. now imagine, what’s worse!! That idiot picked up on the first ring. Only my God knows what shit I blabbered in front of him.
This morning with this fucking heavy hangover which hammering on my head is really killing. As if this is not enough, checked my last night phone calls and texts and there is a rage of memory of last night frustratingly haunting. Yet another mistake. Yet again. Why and How it messed up again?
Now that’s the worst part of getting drunk to forget everything wrong happening in your life, it made you remind the past wrong and good things happened in life. For a moment, you will remember the good old times and the very next moment there’s a slideshow of all the mistakes you have done in front of your eyes. And that’s the time SIN HAPPENS!! Just for the sake of few pretty moments I always hang the future on washroom’s lock and forget it there.
But again Why me?? Why this is happening to me in the whole world. But I guess it’s the fault of my twenties not mine. Already things are not going right and over this, this shit happened. Really, don’t have a single clue what to do next.
So I take up a moment to think about it like a mature and practical person.
I’m sure this may happen with other girls out there in twenties. So every time things go wrong, take a moment, cut the crap and keep yourself calm.
In the rage of these shitty times, read these words
First Breathe.. Things are still not so bad. Try to calm yourself down. Now you will think, it’s easy to say this to other but hell when it happens to you. But believe me, it happens with me every time. I committed the mistake last night again and then woke up with regrets. So I do understand. I do understand how it feels alone all the time. I do understand what it feels when your family and relatives expect so much from you and you are tired of these expectations on your shoulders. I do understand when all your friends are hooking up and you are the only single one left. I do understand when you wake up every morning without any goal or reason. I know this is the time you want someone to appreciate you and to hold you up tight in arms and say those three magical words. No silly, not I Love You but IT WILL PASS! But believe me nobody can hold on to you better than you. You can still make everything work. It’s still not so late.
Just don’t feel defeated. No matter what, keep going. Don’t stop dreaming, don’t stop running after them, chasing them to the extent you can. Don’t stop wishing on the shooting stars. Don’t stop day dreaming about your own fairytale. Don’t stop loving yourself. DO NOT STOP AT ANY FUCKING COST. Appreciate what you have and know your worth. Being SINGLE is not a crime. It’s great to be alone than with someone wrong. Always believe you deserve best, don’t set on less than that.
Do what your heart says. Meet the people you like and let them know their value in your life, eat your favorite meals like you’re dying tomorrow, travel alone like the WHOLE WORLD IS HOME, watch your favorite movies again and again, dance in rain like no one is watching, play with small kids like you used to do in your childhood, paint for your own happiness, hit the gym like you want that poster girl figure and abs by today only, write novels about feelings, failures and everything you want to.
But REMEMBER, do things for your own fucking HAPPINESS!
Everyone make their own mistakes, repeat that same mistake hundreds of times. But get up back every time you get down. You have still so much left to do. LIFE IS STILL LEFT TO HAPPEN.
Let it happen!
You haven’t lived half of your life yet. Do every shitty thing that comes in your mind and 20 years down the line, when you’ll look back, these memories will make you smile, these mistakes will make you laugh and these days will make your life WORTHWHILE!
RELAX.. ITS JUST MID-TWENTIES. You will be alright with time. BREATHE AND LIVE..
LET THE LIFE HAPPEN!